Ledger Pulls a Jack, Castro for Castro, USB Your Laziness, Unendangered Elephants, and No, You Do the Math

"Together, we can create a reality that we can all agree on,
the reality we just agreed on."
-Stephen Colbert

1. Look for the Batman franchise to be aussified, or uh, awesomefied, now that Heath Ledger has been cast to play the Joker in the Batman Begins sequel, The Dark Night, to which director Christopher Nolan and star Christian Bale will return. Ledger was picked because he is "extraordinarily talented but fearless," which hopefully won't warrant any further Brokeback jokes, hilarious as they are. (AP)

2. Raul Castro will be stepping in temporarily for his older, intestinal-bleeding, brother Fidel. The two siblings, while ideologically similar, have very different personalities, with Raul being much more of a down to earth and joking partier. Don't let his cool youngest sibling ways fool you though--he's also supposed to be "ruthless with his enemies" and many Cubans fear how he will rule. (CNN)

3. A bar waitress in Ohio was handed her own stolen ID by the slickest thief of them all last week, which baffled police Captain Guy Turner: "The odds of this waitress recovering her own license defy calculation." I suppose everyone's given up on doing the math. (AP)

4. For those attached to the hip to their computers, there's no reason now to sever the tie. New USB devices are allowing tech geeks to plug their way into warmer hands, fake aquariums, paper shredders, beverage chillers and warmers, and oil burners. Hold your breath for the toilet. (Newsday)

5. Despite Stephen Colbert's pleas on his Word segment last night, there in fact is no new addition to or affected change of the wikiality of Wikipedia's "elephant" entry. Not to say though that his fans didn't try--they appropriately stampeded and crashed the server, leading Wikipedia to "lock down 20 elephant-related Wikipedia pages." Wikipedia claims that the technical issues they experienced are unrelated to The Colbert Report. Wikiality indeed. (Techdirt)