Expect the Hell Puns, The Gay Bashing, The MTV Winners, Paris Drugged, and Another Mediocre Movie Delivery

There must be another way to celebrate Satan's Day.

1. Do something cooler than watch Julia Stiles tomorrow. Go over and party in Hell... in Michigan, where uh, well, festivities might kick off with a remake of The Omen anyway. For those who are looking for a decadent good time, forget about partying here. This is all a watered down hellish/family affair with a gate that looks like the Devil's head, specials on pizza and ice cream, and a certificate proving you partied in hell. The Beast will be disappointed. (MLive)

2. Perhaps as a way to celebrate the demonic day, Bush and his fellow conservative Republicans will be pushing a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage this week. San Francisco's mayor, Gavin Newsom, commented that the bill is "pandering and it's placating a core constituency, the evangelicals." Oh, is that what we call bigots now? (AP)

3. *Spoiler Alert* Winner of MTV's Best Kiss Award goes to Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, beating out now unpreggered Brangelina. Highlights were Will Ferrell's giving Jim Carrey his lifetime achievement award ("This man's versatility makes Thomas Jefferson look like a big fat idiot") and Steve Carrell accepting his best comedic performance award ("Gandhi and the Dalai Lama. If I had any familiarity with your teachings, I would not be the person I am today"). (People)

4. Paris Hilton was caught (?) again in another embarrassing shot by the paparazzi. This time she was smoking "something" and when she saw the camera, she "nervously and abruptly swung her head forward, pulled down her visor and began applying lipstick." Her publicist sought out the paparazzi to say, "Paris Hilton rolled her own tobacco cigarettes. It was tobacco you saw." Strangely enough though, she did nothing to explain why Paris would be caught dead in a visor, which in turn totally refutes that Paris was just smoking tobacky. (TMZ)

5. Step aside, Netflix, Blockbuster and Pay-per-view. MovieBeam is a new competitor backed by Disney, Intel, and Cisco that wants a piece of the $10B movie rental biz/year pie. Fork over $200 for a box and buy your movies for $4 a pop that come to you via magical PBS signals that you can pause, rewind and fast forward for 24 hours. It combines the best (no wait) and worst (small selection) of its competitors making it a medium-weight. (NYT)