Scarier Poison Ivy, Pedophiles Unite, Desire and Genes, NBC Offers $15M to Madge, and Jump

1. A study from Duke and Harvard concluded that rising CO2 levels from global warming will lead to itchier poison ivy. Help Al Gore! (AP)

2. A new Dutch political party is sparking outrage the Netherlands. Named the Charity, Freedom and Diversity (NVD) party, its pedophiliac members are prompting for the legal age for sex be lowered to 12 from 16 and the legalization of child and animal pornography. Not necessarily together of course, though... (Reuters)

3. Sexual desire is caused by genes, says a Hebrew University of Jerusalem study. It is also directly linked to your partner's hotness level, as found by another study by the No Shit school. (India Times)

4. According to the Daily News, NBC is offering Madonna $15 million to air her concert, which makes her receive the spiffiest price tag for a TV concert special. Guy Ritchie's documentary on Madge's tour would also air. Toss a dog a bone...

5. Lester Clancy just received his patent for his genius idea for the clumsy. That's right, a "cordless jump-rope." That's right; his idea is two handles specially made with moving weights inside that simulate the jumping movement. Now the klutzes can finally jump rope without looking stupid. Or, um, jump. (AP)