Morty Baby, Diva Dick, and Lanky Robots No More!

1. Gwenny (or Gwyneth Paltrow, if you don't refer to her so affectionately) is rumored to name her new baby boy bundle of joy "Mortimer" after her godfather, Steven Spielberg. There is of course a disconnect here if you don't realize that she calls Spielberg "Uncle Morty" or if you thought she was going to be consistent with fruity names. She's so full of brilliant surprises! (Page Six)

2. Who knew Dick Cheny and Jennifer Lopez had so much in common? Smoking Gun obtained the gun-happy VP's requests for his hotel rooms. While not exactly the most demanding of divas, Cheney nonetheless likes his room at 68 degrees, lights on, outfitted with 4 cans of Diet Caffeine Free sprite, a pot already brewed with decaf coffee, and 4-6 water bottles. The TV has to be set on FOX News and "please make sure someone from the team or a Super Volunteer (on radio) is there to receive the Motorcade on Arrival." Goes without saying, but wouldn't a regular volunteer simply do?

3. In the "Return of Chef," Trey Parker and Matt Stone gets their two cents in of the whole Hayes-Scientology affair. Isaac Hayes' Chef was brainwashed by a child molesters organization called "The Super Adventure Club," killed a gabillion times, and eventually sort of dies/sort of becomes Darth Vadar. At his funeral, Kyle says to remember Chef as he was before the brainwashing and that "we should be mad at the fruity little club for scrambling his brain." I wonder what the reference is here...
Check out the awesomeness of YouTube and Chef's life and death here.

4. Pink quote of the week! "The irony will be me losing a Grammy to her [Paris Hilton] next year. It would completely prove my point. That the world is just plain wrong." The claws are out and some of the potential ones are probably really skanky. (Daily News)

5. University of Texas's Professor Baughman has built something "crucial" for future androids: artificial muscles.

Crucial means creepy, right? (NYT)