Madonna Fingers for Publicity, More Scientology Mysteries, Jordan in Vogue?!... and Other Shockers

1. Madonna's "Sorry" video was too scandalous for TV because of an already ubiquitous finger gesture, but obviously not for the internet. Go to Marco Puig's site and click on showreel to see the graphic video. I suppose there has to be one from each album: "What It Feels Like For a Girl," "Justify My Love," and "Erotica" --shouldn't the music channels learn by now and stop feeding into her free publicity-generating ways?

2. While rare enough to be covered by ordinary accident insurance in other countries, terrorism insurance is being offered in Iraq in what seems to be the first of its kind in the world. Terrorism kills hundreds of people per month in Iraq, and its citizens perhaps have found the government and employers unreliable to provide for their family afterwards. The Iraq Insurance Company, a state-owned group, has sold 200 individual terrorism insurance policies in the last year and providing group policies for government ministries and private companies is in the works. The company has yet needed to pay out a claim, and in response to which some of its consumers deem the product as lucky. (NYT)

3. Chef lives! The 10th season of South Park will open with a new episode with Chef, sans Isaac Hayes, but who will be Chef's voice? Watch "The Return of Chef!" tomorrow. (BBC)

4. Fox News' Roger Friedman theorizes that Hayes did not quit South Park on his own accord, but "someone quit for him." In an AV Club interview this January, Hayes comments on Matt Stone and Trey Parker's depiction of Scientology in the four-month-old episode:

"They didn't let me know until it was done. I said, 'Guys, you have it all wrong. We're not like that. I know that's your thing, but get your information correct, because somebody might believe that [expletive], you know?' But I understand what they're doing. I told them to take a couple of Scientology courses and understand what we do. [Laughs.]"

Hayes did not issue any statements on his own about South Park, and friends say he has been undergoing home therapy since his mild stroke on January 17.

5. Apparently all the chasing worked for Bruce Willis, as Page 6 has Willis and much hotter and younger Petra Nemcova down as a couple and with Willis treating Petra badly no less! He stood her up at the premiere of "V for Vendetta" last week, but she refused his kiss at his 51st birthday party at G2 this past Saturday.

6. The Sun reports that the Hilton sisters are planning on doing a cartoon TV show on their lives. Paris has already had meetings with Interscope's Ted Fields about making and selling the project to an American network.

7. Why is Jordan (Britain's answer to Pam Anderson) in the April issue of Vogue?

...I'm just asking the question...why?