"Meaningless" "Words" "Tuesday"

Curiouser and curiouser...
Read to bottom to find out what this "excrement" "container" is.

1. After much "prayerful thinking and analysis," Tom Delay is leaving Congress and relocating to Virginia. Bush sprightly commented, "Our party will continue to succeed, because we are the party of ideas." After such news, dictionary stock suddenly and shockingly plummeted. (NYT)

2. Jessica Simpson has been plucked to star in the movie version of Baywatch and seems to be running slowmo to reigning queen of horrible remakes of horrible TV shows. Plot outline from IMDB describes the movie as "based on the famous TV series of the same name and is about a group of lifeguards who patrol a California beach." Sounds about right. (LSE)

3. Russell Simmons says there' s a possibility that he and Kimora Lee would stay together, that he cannot foresee any fights over estate and money, and also announces that the separation drama between them will be shown on Kimora's VH1 show. Somehow in dishing this all to Lloyd Grove, Russell still doesn't clear up that his marriage was not a business-deal-diguised sham. Strange....

4. NY Post graciously "retracts" its statement--that a pedicurist refused to touch Kimberly Stewart's feet because of their smell--after Kimberly and her parents told the Post that it was wrong.

5. Scientists from North Carolina's Wake Forest University have done 7 bladder transplants, where the bladders were grown from the bladder-diseased patients' own cells and implanted into the patients. BBC's subheading calls the implants "successful" yet when one read the articles it only says that only "in some the organ is working well years later." When did "some" out of 7 become a success? Poor fictitious dictionary stock.