Stalkers Gawk, Stars Divorce, Coldplay Reigns, Gwenyth Still Drinks, and Gawker Still Stalks

Yes, the tie, the face, the everything...it's all still sexy.

1. George Clooney plans on bringing down Gawker Stalker in his own fine way by sabotaging and bombarding the site with fake sightings. In an email to his publicist, he says, "No need to try to create new laws to restrict free speech. Just make them useless. That's the fun of it." Good to know that for some people law suits aren't the first resort. (Page Six)

2. Matthew Knowles challenges Simon Cowell to a girl-band off because of Cowell's constant put-downs of Beyoncé's lack of sexiness and vocals. Knowles comments, "It is even more clear to me that Simon wouldn't know a hit song, image or talent if it hit him in the face." Fight fight fight! (Daily News)

3. Divorce extravaganza! According to The National Inquirer, Matt LeBlanc and his future-ex Melissa McKnight have been split since January, and word on the gossip wire is that Kimora Lee and Russell Simmons will be announcing their split today! (Daily News)

4. Move over Fabergé egg. The Virgin Mary is now the most recent of notorious cocaine-vehicles. Five 3-foot-tall statues of her have been used to carry 242 pounds of cocaine and were seized in Brooklyn yesterday. Two men were arrested as well and are suspected to smuggle the drugs from Mexico to NY. One can only imagine what Jesus would say and do to such blasphemy. (Reuters)

5. Coldplay, selling 8.3 million copies of X&Y, grabs the head seat of the global popularity table with Mariah Carey, 50 Cent, Black Eyed Peas, and Green Day to accompany them. In other Martin-related news, Gwenyth Paltrow is still seen drinking alcohol at NY restaurants, the latest being two-three glasses of wine (!!).

6. The Financial Accounting Standards Board, which writes accounting rules for American business, is revealing its new method of reporting pension, retirement, and benefits obligations that might cripple some companies' balance sheets, though not corporate profits. This seems to be motivated by investor complaints not seeing such risks reported, and so the board would be requiring companies to report what they currently do in footnotes of their financial statements on their balance sheets. The accountant inside everyone can be riveted here.

7. Not to be outdone, Gawker decides to have its stalkers stalk Clooney while he's in NY.

Oh...all the drama before the weekend...