The Getaway Limo, Hardcore Snoop, Record Profits for Oil Companies, and "Is nice… Is a good, but I have… seen bigger" The Movie
1. An experimental vaccine developed against the Marburg virus worked on monkeys, even after infection. The Marburg virus, similar to Ebola, causes its victims to suffer from fever, vomiting, diarrhea, severe bleeding from the orifices, and, most likely, death within a week. Whew, with such good news on the horizon, I can finally go back to reading Michael Crichton books. Sure, I can treat them as the fiction they are categorized as, but then I have to ask, "What would Bush do?" (NYT)
2. Exxon Mobil posted today its modest profit of $8.4 billion for the first quarter --modest, of course, compared to $10.71 billion for the quarter prior. ConocoPhillips reported record profits as well yesterday with $3.29 billion and Chevron is expected to announce tomorrow its $4 billion. How bizarre the amount of money this industry is making when driving peons are forking over 3 bucks a gallon. Though, peons, be assured, the American Petroleum Institute (API) will be spending millions in conventional ad campaigns to make sure you believe there is absolutely no correlation between your moth-eaten pockets and their Gucci-lined ones. And when you're no longer drunk on delusions but whorishly naked from the clothes you sold at the gas station, you can be warmed by the words of API President Red Cavaney. "The responsibility of the management... is to insure that they are providing for shareholder return." (CBS News)
3. Calvin Broadus, aka Snoop, hit a snag while on his way to Johannesburg in Heathrow Airport when he and 5 others were arrested for brawling in the Terminal 1 business lounge. Officers were abused upon arrival, sustaining injuries in the form of cuts, bruises, and, for one, a fractured hand. Business lounge? Terminal 1? Fractured hand? I suspect this might do nothing for Snoop's street cred. (BBC)
4. Due out sometime this year, perhaps the summer, is perhaps the most anticipated movie, um, of the year. That's right: Borat, the movie, starring the wonderful Sacha Cohen of Ali G fame. The story centers on Borat's traveling to the U.S. to report on the world's greatest country. The twist? Borat decides instead he wants to find and marry Pamela Anderson, which, really, probably doesn't deviate too much from his original mission.
5. Apparently San Francisco's bank robbers like to steal in style. The other day, Roy Westry and Cynthia Johnson decided to hold up a bank and flee in a limousine, making it the second time in the past few years that Franny robbers chose the limo as their getaway car. Disappointingly and surprisingly, the limo used was not the Hummer sort. (Reuters)
2. Exxon Mobil posted today its modest profit of $8.4 billion for the first quarter --modest, of course, compared to $10.71 billion for the quarter prior. ConocoPhillips reported record profits as well yesterday with $3.29 billion and Chevron is expected to announce tomorrow its $4 billion. How bizarre the amount of money this industry is making when driving peons are forking over 3 bucks a gallon. Though, peons, be assured, the American Petroleum Institute (API) will be spending millions in conventional ad campaigns to make sure you believe there is absolutely no correlation between your moth-eaten pockets and their Gucci-lined ones. And when you're no longer drunk on delusions but whorishly naked from the clothes you sold at the gas station, you can be warmed by the words of API President Red Cavaney. "The responsibility of the management... is to insure that they are providing for shareholder return." (CBS News)
3. Calvin Broadus, aka Snoop, hit a snag while on his way to Johannesburg in Heathrow Airport when he and 5 others were arrested for brawling in the Terminal 1 business lounge. Officers were abused upon arrival, sustaining injuries in the form of cuts, bruises, and, for one, a fractured hand. Business lounge? Terminal 1? Fractured hand? I suspect this might do nothing for Snoop's street cred. (BBC)
4. Due out sometime this year, perhaps the summer, is perhaps the most anticipated movie, um, of the year. That's right: Borat, the movie, starring the wonderful Sacha Cohen of Ali G fame. The story centers on Borat's traveling to the U.S. to report on the world's greatest country. The twist? Borat decides instead he wants to find and marry Pamela Anderson, which, really, probably doesn't deviate too much from his original mission.
5. Apparently San Francisco's bank robbers like to steal in style. The other day, Roy Westry and Cynthia Johnson decided to hold up a bank and flee in a limousine, making it the second time in the past few years that Franny robbers chose the limo as their getaway car. Disappointingly and surprisingly, the limo used was not the Hummer sort. (Reuters)
posted by pantyhoseruns at 11:07 AM
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