Drunken Paris, Awarded Lynch, and Movie Downloads

Yesterday at the Venice Film Festival, where David Lynch received the lifetime achievement award, the newly DV-infactuated director plugged his new film, Inland Empire, as "supposed to make perfect sense," though Laura Dern, one of the stars, notes, "The truth is I didn't know who I was playing - and I still don't know. I'm looking forward to seeing the film tonight to learn more." (IMDB)

The latest "celebrity" to be arrested is Paris Hilton for driving "erratically" and what appears to be drunkenly at 12ish a.m. in Hollywood Thursday. What with Mel Gibson and all of Lost's cast and the industry, can't so-called stars become a little bit more creative? (Daily News)

Amazon launches its movie-and-TV program-download service, Unbox. Apple is expected to make an announcement of a similar product on Tuesday, though will it offer a feature that Amazon's doesn't: DVD-burning capability? Oh yeah...you have all weekend to get giddy... (USA Today)

Radar on Sex, Kates, and Babies

Who needs Katie Couric announcing the Suri (aka so-called spawn of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes) pics on the evening news? Bloggers (à la Celebrity Baby Blog) are still around, scooping the former NBC pixie on the Vanity Fair cover. Ah, make Walter Cronkite proud.

Radar’s back, and it’s online! As for better than ever—well, how long is ever? Resurrected printed version to come in 2007.

The NYT reports on how the scientific community is still baffled by sexual cannibalism of the praying mantises and other insects. While some spiders benefit from being eaten by increasing their chances of fertilizing the female from being on the female twice as long or putting in a “sperm plug” to prevent other male’s mixing of goods, scientists have found that mantises seem to show their unwillingness to be eaten in exchange for sex either by running away from the females or being hesitant around the “hungry” ones. What, gray areas don’t exist for sexual cannibalism? Can’t each insect species do its own thing?

Kate Moss plays "Miss X" in four sexy shorts for Agent Provocateur, who spaces out the "release" of each ad, which is, wow, just too cool.

Fergie Messes Up...

calling Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin "Abigail Bresin" on the VMA's last night but at least manages to keep it together and not pee in her pants this time. Jump over to the video to view the pint-sized darling's jump from giddy excitement to her flash of discomfort at the Pea's blunder.

iTunes Attacked

SpiralFrog will be entering the fray of the digital music download war. Piggy backing off of the "Google" business model, Universal Music's challenge to iTunes will be relying on ad revenue versus consumer cash. Though one drawback--it will be compatible with what seems to be everything but the ever popular iPod. And...the return fire. (news.com.au)

Mac Attacks, Poor Pluto, Lindsay Smells, and Swag Taxed

1. It's Macs' turn to burst into flames, as Apple today recalled 1.8 million battery packs from their iBook and PowerBook G4s. Again the fires were blamed on--the batteries were made by Sony, though there has been no serious damage to person or property, just "minor burns and some minor property damage." The lithium-ion batteries were in computers sold from October 2003 to August 2006 aka, uh, today. (NYT)

2. It's decided. "Puny" Pluto sucks and has been demoted to "dwarf planet, which is basically any round object that is not a planetary satellite and has failed to clean up its orbital path." This definition conjures up so many celebrities... (Scientific American)

3. Lindsay Lohan has been meeting with several fragrance manufacturers, as she attempts to make her first and very own scent for the skank in everyone of us. (TMZ)

4. Because the IRS is good on its word, presenters at August 27th's Emmy Awards had to sign a letter from the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences saying they are well aware that their goodies are taxable, even if they're on CW. (Time)

Frisky funerals, Pluto in Plight, and Those Bloody Moo's

1. Pluto remains the galactic loser, with its planetary status still up in the air at the International Astronomical Union meetings in Prague. Nail-biting can end Thursday during the final votes. (USA Today)

2. Strip-tease funerals might be coming to an end in east China after several police crackdowns this week, but after this fabulous Reuters article, perhaps it might find a new beginning elsewhere...

3. Cows' moos founded to be regionally accented in parts of Southwest England. Ooh, beefcakes they really must be. (Reuters)

Seeing Darkness, Crazy Cruise, Accutane Pain, and Drugged Keane

If a tree falls...

1. Dark matter, the invisible substance that is thought to make up a quarter of the universe, exists, scientists say after observing the result of a massive collision between two galaxy clusters. Now for that pesky elusive dark energy... (National Geographic)

2. Paramount dumps Tom Cruise, or, really, ends its 14-year relationship with his production company, Cruise/Wagner Productions, on the grounds that he's been acting crazy. Sumner Redstone, head of Viacom (which heads Paramount and Comedy Central), said, "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount." Ooh, has Stone-Parker won the war? (TMZ)

3. Aside from just about killing you and your offspring in every possible way, Accutane might also be increasing your cholesterol and "other fat levels more than previously thought," UC San Francisco found. Well, if heart attacks didn't stop the high schooler...well, yeah, yeah, getting fat might. (Scientific American)

4. Keane lead singer Tom Chaplin enters rehab for drug and alcohol addiction. Really...Keane?! (ABC)